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Given that many of our website viewers will be attending INTA in May we thought this snappy little article from networking expert Rob Brown might be of interest.
Nothing is more important in the development of a relationship than the use of a person’s name, as there are few things in life that are more personal. If you want to improve your ability to remember names, you must first sell yourself on the importance of doing it.
“Remember that a person’s name is the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”
This quote comes form Dale Carnegie’s famous book ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’, probably written 50 years ahead of its time. Achieving business success used to be possible by adopting a best product or competitive price strategy.
In the current information age where product and price can be improved extremely quickly, the key to business success lies in the strength of customer relations. People buy from people, and usually the ones they get on best with.
Carnegie tells of Barnum, the circus entrepreneur, who liked his name so well that he offered to give his grandson, C. H. Seeley, a huge sum of money provided he would call himself ‘Barnum’ Seeley. James B. Duke, the cigarette king, offered to give
Nothing is more important in the development of a relationship than the use of a person’s name, as there are few things in life that are more personal. If you want to improve your ability to remember names, you must first sell yourself on the importance of doing it.
Your progress in remembering names, learning to ski or developing any other skill will depend largely on how strong you desire to do it. The best way to increase your desire to remember names is by constantly reminding yourself that this one skill above all others will:
Help you in your business and career.
Help you win friends and influence people.
Make your social networking easier and more enjoyable.
Help you create a better client experience.
Turn you into a hub and a connector.
Prevent embarrassment at not recalling names or being able to properly introduce people.
Enhance your popularity and your reputation.
Help you show genuine interest in others.
I’ve tried countless memory techniques to remember names, from vivid word associations to writing everything down. And the best one I’ve come across is one I devised for myself. I call it The ALPHA Technique. It’s simple, it’s quick and it’s built on the mother of all memory – repetition.
A – Ask. Make the first move. Be proactive. The more you introduce yourself, the more people will tell you their names.
L – Listen. Most names are forgotten in the first few seconds, either because you’re nervous or you’re concentrating on what witty, wonderful or profound thing you’re going to say next. So concentrate on hearing their name in the first place. Focus on it, pay attention, watch it drop off their lips and give it due care and consideration. If it’s an unusual name, or you don’t hear it properly, ask for it again. They’re not going to say, ‘Sorry, I told you once!’
P – Parrot. These wonderful animals do what? Yes, they repeat things. So as soon as you hear their name, say it back to them. ‘John, lovely to meet you.’ It’s much harder to forget a name after it’s come out of your own mouth.
H – Hook. Find some hook, some physical characteristic, something about them, their face, hair, features or even clothes that you can hook to the name. The stronger the hook, the more chance there is that you’ll remember them.
A – Affirm. Stop saying that you’re no good with names, that you can never remember anything and that you’ve got a terrible memory. That’s negative, hindering thinking. Cultivate a positive attitude with names. Start saying to people that you’re improving with names, that you’re making a real effort with names, that you’re getting better all the time with names. Before you know it, you’ll be a names champion!
Make it a pledge that you begin really concentrating with names. Resolve to become known for your memory with names, and a whole world of great networking, opportunities, friendships and influence will open up to you. Happy remembering, and happy business building!
Rob’s Quick Tips
Names are crucial in building relationships, making contacts and getting people to ‘yes’. The problem is that most people are bad at it. Here are the things you must start doing if you want to master this skill and turn your relationships into profits:
Get Your Mind Right. Start talking yourself up and being positive. Otherwise you’ll set limitations that you’ll have no problem living down to.
Make The First Move. Ask people their name by introducing yourself. Great networkers and relationship builders are proactive. They don’t wait to be introduced!
Listen Carefully. Most names are forgotten quickly, because you don’t listen in the first place. Until now!
Use Repetition. All great memory experts use some kind of repetition to remember things. Say their name when you hear it, repeat it from time to time and see if you can introduce them quickly to reinforce your efforts.
Make a pledge today to really make an effort with names, and you’ll find your memory improves, your relationships take off and your opportunities come thicker and faster!
© Rob Brown 2009.
Rob Brown is one of the UK’s leading authorities on business networking and referrals. He is an inspirational conference speaker and author of over 40 publications, including Amazon best-seller How To Build Your Reputation. Go to www.rob-brown.com for your free 60 page copy of ‘The 13 Commandments of Turning Relationships Into Profits’, or get in touch on (44) 115 846 21227 or [email protected] for details of his motivational presentations, business winning programmes and relationship-building resources.